SELF BELIEF
There is a little Rhyme that goes like this: “Two men look out from prison bars; One sees mud the other sees stars.” (Author Unknown) Another version of it: “Two salesmen were sent to Africa by a Shoemaking Company to investigate and report back on market potential. The first salesman reported: “There is no potential there; nobody wears shoes!” The second salesman reported: “There is immense potential there; nobody wears shoes!”
How important it is, that we teach our children to have a positive attitude to life and to be optimistic about themselves; life will be fulfilling, because they were able to develop their abilities by having self-confidence.
We all know from experience that what we believe about ourselves affects the way we act. Our children are likely to become the sorts of people they believe others believe them to be. As parents, we are the main influence in the development of self-belief within our children. What we say, either positive or negative, can have a long-lasting effect on our children, because they believe us. “Careful the things you say. Children will listen.” (Stephen Sondheim)
Our children’s belief in their own ability to do things is of great influence on their motivation, perseverance and success. Self-belief can motivate our children more than actual skill level. If they truly believe they can succeed at a test or write a poem, they may be more likely to achieve it than other children who have better ability, but who don’t believe they can achieve it. The more our children believe they can do, the more likely they are to generalise that self-belief to other areas of their life. They then believe they have the ability to attempt, persevere and succeed in a whole range of activities.
Self-belief is about being aware of and valuing your true self. It is not about how others see you or how you think others see you. Self-belief is different from self-esteem because self-esteem generally means how you feel about yourself in comparison to others and so can fluctuate according to circumstance. Self-belief is more like an inner light that comes from within you. It is not about how we behave on the outside but rather about our inner feelings and how they make us optimistic about life. “Promise yourself to live in the belief that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.” (Christian Larson)
Parents can help children to believe in their own ability by teaching them to take the initiative to make things happen, instead of waiting for them to happen. Likewise, parents can help children to be proactive by helping them – not telling them – to think about options and solutions instead of problems and barriers. “Your mind can think of only one thought at a time; make it a positive one.” (Author Unknown)
When we, as adults, evaluate our lives, we are more likely to regret challenges we did not confront, risks we did not take and contests we did not enter as a result of self-doubt or lack of self-belief. We are less likely to regret actions we took as a result of innovative self-belief or being too optimistic or even foolish. At least we made the attempt and knew the result.
So, we need to believe in our children’s potential, like the second salesman believed in the Company’s potential. We need to inspire them to self-belief: “After all, good habits are as hard to break as bad habits.” (Frank Pajares)
Today each family via the eldest child will be bringing home a little Family Prayer Booklet that the Catholic Archdiocese of Adelaide and Catholic Education SA are providing for all families in our Catholic Schools. Prayer is another strategy we can use to teach our children about self-belief.
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